How to connect to Techies in New York
Even When You Think You Have Nothing to Say
New York's tech scene is massive, fast-moving, and honestly a bit intimidating. Everyone seems to have a pitch, a project, or a portfolio of hot takes. So what do you do when you want to connect but feel like you're showing up empty-handed?
Here's the thing: the best networkers aren't the ones with the most to say. They're the ones who know how to show up.
Where the Techies Actually Are
Forget the generic "networking events." The real connections happen in spaces where people gather around shared doing, not just talking.
Meetups with a pulse: Look for AI, ML, developer, and founder meetups on Luma, Meetup, and Eventbrite. In NYC, groups like NY Tech Meetup, AI Tinkerers, and various hackathon communities draw engaged crowds. The vibe matters more than the size—smaller events often lead to real conversations.
Coworking spaces and community hubs: Places like The Yard, WeWork (still), and founder-focused spots often host casual events. Just being present regularly builds familiarity.
Online-to-offline: Twitter/X and LinkedIn are where NYC tech people actually talk. Engage there first, then meet IRL. A simple "Hey, I've been following your posts—would love to grab coffee" works surprisingly well.
When You Feel Like You Have Nothing to Say
This is the real question, right? You're at an event. Everyone's talking about their startups, their raises, their latest product launches. And you're thinking: What do I even contribute here?
Here's the reframe: Curiosity is contribution.
Most people at these events are dying to talk about what they're building. They don't need you to match their energy with your own pitch. They need someone who's genuinely interested.
Try these:
Ask the "how" questions. Instead of "What do you do?" try "How did you land on that problem?" or "What's been the hardest part of building that?" These questions invite real answers, not elevator pitches.
Share your curiosity, not your credentials. "I'm exploring the AI space and trying to learn from people actually building" is honest, humble, and opens doors. You don't need a title to belong in a room.
Follow up on what resonates. Heard someone mention a tool, a framework, a challenge you found interesting? Circle back later with a message: "That thing you mentioned about X stuck with me—would love to hear more." That's memorable.
The Networking Secret Nobody Talks About
The people who build the best networks aren't collectors of contacts. They're connectors.
Even if you feel like you have nothing to offer, you probably know someone who could help someone else. Making introductions—"You should talk to my friend who's also working on that"—builds goodwill faster than any pitch.
And here's the uncomfortable truth: networking feels awkward for almost everyone. The confident people in the room? Many of them are faking it too. Showing up, staying curious, and following up consistently will get you further than having the perfect thing to say.
You don't need a breakthrough idea or a fancy title to connect with techies in New York. You just need to be present, genuinely curious, and willing to keep showing up.
The tech scene rewards consistency over charisma. Start there.